Friday, January 30, 2009



LIQUIDITY: When you look at your investments and pee your pants.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

More Poor Driving

As we explore deeper into our "Calling Out Idiots" series, this next entry is more on the line of bad/unsafe driving than all out idiocy. However, it still deserves mention here.

From my house to the curve that turns into Sunset drive is not very far as seen above. In my usual style I got out of the driveway this morning and started hammering away, I'm guessing at my usual 15 mph or so on snow packed street. There were no cars coming when that I could see when I left the driveway. By the time I got to the curve there was a Tan Jeep 4x4 taking the inside of a moderately blind curve pushing me into a more icy area. I've had worse things happen to me, but in these conditions and the fact it was on a moderately blind curve, it just wasn't very smart.

I will leave the license plate out THIS time, so should this local driver read my blog per chance, consider this your warning. I may be feeling generous since you had an Obama sticker in your back window.

Late Edit: Okay after a "blogger intervention" of sorts, here it is:
SD Plates 19AT81
- the consensus is.....YOU ARE AN IDIOT!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Farts are Funny

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you realize.....

You have been listening to your iPod!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Big Wheels X-Games

Found this on a friends site. Too good not to re-post.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday Funny for Cyclists

Dear Uncle Al,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your all-knowing

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
I've witnessed the usual signals. If the phone rings and I answer, the
caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot
recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some
friends from work, you don't know them."

I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she
went out again so I decided to stay up and check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my bikes so I could get a good view
of the street as she arrived from a night out with "the girls." When
she got out of the car she was buttoning her blouse and straightening her skirt.

It was at this moment, crouching behind my carbon road bike, that I noticed a
slight crack in the down tube.

Is this something a bike shop can fix, or should I send it back to the company?
-- Concerned Roadie

Uncle Al Replies: CR, I'm truly sorry for your dilemma. It's not the
first time I've heard this sort of sad tale. You spend years investing in a
relationship only to be let down. Believing that time will heal all wounds too
often proves to have the opposite result.

It's not like this is anything new. It can happen to the best of us without
warning. You can read articles and books about this situation, you can seek
advice from friends, you can even cry about it. But even the strongest bonds can
fail. That's life.

I urge you to seek professional help. A caring person trained in these matters
is far better than trying to sort these things out alone. Of course, sometimes a
person who claims to be able to "fix anything" will only make matters
worse. You need to accept that a problem might be beyond repair.

Now, about that lying, cheating wife of yours. . . . Any guesses where she and
"the girls" are holding their get-togethers? Maybe a visit from your
Unc could help repair this crack in your relationship.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Laura

Today is the birthday of my wonderful wife of 15 plus years. She loves to read the comments on my blog, so send her wishes!

Reasons my wife rocks!

1. She's put up with me for since 1993 (1992 if you want to get technical).
2. She's produced three wonderful children.
3. She's becoming a better cyclist all the time so we can spend even MORE time together.
4. She's still in love with me.
5. She's my best friend and I love her with all my heart.

Noon Cycling Class - Maximum Capacity (Plus)

In all the years I've been teaching Cycling Classes for the USD Campus Recreation Department, I've had probably four total classes that were so full that I gave up my instructor bike and allowed somebody else to ride while I taught the class. The first three were some of the very first classes, back when "spinning" was all the rage. Today was the fourth. Apparently while I was teaching others came in and then turned around when they realized we were full. What a cool problem to have!

I warned everybody that I don't teach anything that I wouldn't do on a real bike. I don't "hover" over the seat, do out of the saddle time with no hands, or do "jumps" where you sit for two pedal strokes and out for two. Stuff like that needs to find its way out of spin classes. I teach a class for cyclists, not creative (and potentially dangerous) aerobics.

That being said, everybody seemed to do just fine. I was very impressed as half the class had never been in a cycling class before. We will see how many keep showing up after our "free" week that we are currently in. I hope it's many and I hope that we can get some of them riding outdoors with us!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

6:00 am Cycling Class

I am now teaching a 6:00 am cycling class once a week (Wednesday's) along with my two 12:10-12:50 classes on Monday and Thursday. 5:15 wake up wasn't as bad as I was expecting considering that I went to be after midnight. Of course it's only the first week of teaching it.

Cycling Cathy made the trek from Wakonda so I should stop whining and just do it! Only had two for the first day, but both seem committed, so here's hoping!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Random Thoughts on My Trip to Memphis

1. Scary city. Can't imagine living there.
2. BBQ Places and Sub Shops are among the best. This is a BBQ sandwich my co-worker had at Neely's.

3. Downtown (Beale St. and the like) is awesome.
4. Only saw two bicycles the whole week I was there.
5. (Getting on) Public Transportation in Memphis: Not the smartest thing I've ever done.
6. Walking aimlessly from the hotel in Memphis: Also not the smartest thing I've ever done.
7. St. Jude's Hospital has an impressive spread right off the interstate. Instantly went back to the bikeathons as a kid.
8. Racial tension seems incredibly high still in Memphis.
9. If they expect wind chills near zero, there is a special scrolling statement on the weather channel that tells them to layer up and to wear hats and gloves. Took me about twenty minutes to quit laughing over that one.
10. Our hotel sucked. The Ramada on Mt. Moriah road is also a scary place. When we told the desk clerk (after finding out our keys no longer worked on Wednesday) that my co-worker's door was left open a crack all day after housekeeping left, she didn't even respond. Just reprogrammed the keys and handed them back. Unreal.
11. Asked a good 'ol boy how he was doing in the hotel and he responded: Guh, hah ute?
12. Most people speak with what one cab driver told us is the "Memphis Mumble". Very accurate description.
13. The hotel workout has the following sexist statement on it's signage: "Consult your physician before exercising and follow *HIS* advice".

14. Stopped at Graceland at night. Said 'hey' to Elvis. Cross that off my list of things I could care less if I ever seen in my life. Yet another scary part of town.

No future trips planned to Memphis if I can help it. I live in South Dakota for a reason. Memphis helped solidify many of those reasons.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bike vs. Car Report : Jan 1 – Jan 15

Work got in the way of a potentially “perfect” report. I had to take computers up to Sioux Falls and install them on January 6th. Yes, I could count this as not driving because it was for work, but I want to see even with work how little I can drive or be a passenger.

Rough start number two was that I had training in Memphis from the 12th through the 16th so that also threw everything off as well. This is quite possibly the longest stretch that I haven’t been on a bike in at least the last five years. The hotel bike kept me humored, but not being outside riding is just strange.

That brings me to another point: “Bicycle” means outdoor. Not that it probably matters to anybody who reads my blog- I just thought I’d tell you. If I don’t ride outside, no matter what the distance, I don’t plan on counting that as a “Bicycle” day.

The bright side? My numbers should do nothing but get better with such a poor start thanks to work.

Friday, January 09, 2009

It Had to Happen

Sooner or later, because of my trusting nature and letting anybody comment, somebody was destined to spoil it. Hiding under "James Bond" and "Kristin R. Armstrong" I have an opinionated person who decided to leave comments that I'm willing to bet they wouldn't have the guts to do face to face. If you don't like what I write, that's tough, don't read it.

For the rest of my readers, I had to turn comment moderation on. Sorry about that. Speaking of "calling out idiots"....

Calling Out Idiots

I decided to start a new, more evil practice of "calling out idiots" on the road by posting their license plate on my blog. Is that stepping over the line? Maybe. Do I care? No. Let's begin, shall we?

As I was coming into work at a rather rapid pace a Silver Ford Explorer (or one of the other gas guzzling minions) was pulling out of a driveway. I quit pedaling for one stroke fearing the idiot would pull out completely. Then, much to my amazement they stopped, apparently seeing me so I started hammering away again so I could get by in a timely fashion. But NOOOOOOO they pulled out of the driveway, all the way across the street, causing me to lock up my bike and slide sideways on part ice/part pavement conditions.

Trust me when I say they seen me in their mirror as I made sure they did. So, here's to my first official calling out of an idiot.

Iowa Plate 695ABU - YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Wii Wii Wii All the Way Home

Yes, we broke down and got a Wii. At first I thought we were crazy, but I have to admit that I'm very impressed with it. After a bad case of "Wii Shoulder" (It's a medical condition...look it up!) from playing Wii Sports and the Wii Play, I picked up a Wii Fit and Laura and I now have more problems than Wii Shoulder.

Understand that I'm in "decent" shape. As a cyclist. My core? Well, I thought it was okay, but what little Yoga that I do, it's not nearly as strong as it should be. I'll be working extra hard to get the core in shape in the I'm-not-on-the-road-with-my-bicycle-as-much-as-I'd-like-to-be portion of the year.

I also picked up Mario Party 8 for the Wii with some gift cards the kids got for Christmas, but I haven't given them that yet. It might have to wait until the weekend so they can concentrate on school until then.

In other noise, we added to our family this weekend. Although I "supposedly" had final say in the matter, I don't really think I did. They both seem pretty cool (so far) and are getting along well with the dog. Mittens (our 'first born' cat) is still not happy about the new family members. He may never get over it. He's weird that way.

At any rate, here are Tiger and Tic Tac.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Late New Year's Cycling Resolutions

As I make my simple resolutions for 2009, I'd like to wish the best for many friends who had a bad year relationship-wise. I did have a few friends find/re-find happiness, but I had far too many have relationships fall apart. My wish is for healing and healthy relationships for all.

Now, for resolutions:

1. More bike, less car.

2. Get my good friend CDV , and anybody else I can talk into coming along, from Wyoming to Minnesota in 48 hours on the Gut Check, even if I don't make it (although I hope to also).

3. To further continue to encourage my wife and her new found love of cycling, both on the tandem and on her new Bianchi.

4. To try to get my two older children to go on 10-20-30 mile rides. They bike around town all the time and always say they want to ride more. It might be time to test the waters on that.

5. Continue advocacy efforts, both local and statewide.

6. As so well put by Eddy Merckx when asked how to train: "Ride...Lots"

There you have it, very simple resolutions. Nothing earth shattering other than I have no real plan to keep up on mileage for the year. I'll ride plenty. Trust me.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Bike vs Car Report: Dec 15-31

Well, for only keeping track of my biking versus driving/passenger for the last three months of the year, I'm moderately happy with my results. While I have no intentions of keeping track of my mileage this year, I will keep up with this report. I don't feel that the amount of mileage I ride is as important to who I am as eliminating my need to use the vehicle as much as possible.

Maybe, just maybe, I can motivate a few more people to ride more and drive less. I know there are followers of my blog who read just to see what crazy thing I might do next. That's not really what I'm hoping to prove. I'm just trying to prove that it's NOT HARD to leave the car behind for many things. It just that society has become increasingly lazy and complacent behind the wheel of a cage. It's as good a time as any to change that. Get on your bike in 2009. Leave the car parked. Better yet. Sell it. You have too many anyway.